addiction Archives - Charmed Counseling

The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20

“Canadian physician Gabor Maté is a specialist in terminal illnesses, chemical dependents, and HIV positive patients. Dr. Maté is a renowned author of books and columnist known for his knowledge about attention deficit disorder, stress, chronic illness and parental relations. His theme at TEDxRio+20 was addiction — from drugs to power. From the lack of love to the desire to escape oneself, from susceptibility of the being to interior power — nothing escapes. And he risks a generic and generous prescription: “Find your nature and be nice to yourself.””

#recoverythursdays

Does Shame Motivate Sobriety?

Some believe that shaming and humiliating others will motivate them to change their behaviors and get on the right track. If we tell people all the things they are doing wrong, wouldn’t they want to do something different and make changes towards the right direction? While some experiences of guilt and shame can motivate us to stay away from behaviors that are not socially acceptable, excessive shame can contribute to addiction issues and relapsing.

Research shows that shame is more common in individuals with substance use disorders than those who do not struggle with drugs or alcohol. Many people with addiction issues already struggle with shame; trying to increase shame doesn’t usually work. In fact, a study found that those who attended Alcoholics Anonymous were more likely to relapse within 3 to 11 months if they experienced shame when talking about their past drinking habits.

What are some reasons why shame can interfere with sobriety?

You are less likely to seek treatment/counseling, and are more likely to drop out.

Stigma can be a barrier to getting help, and shame is self-stigma. If a person believes that they are bad and shameful, it is self-defeating. What is the use in trying when I always screw things up? If I am a bad person and nothing I do is ever good enough, why would counseling work? Although going to counseling can be an emotional and painful process, it can help us to work past these harmful core beliefs and find healing.

You are more likely to hide and avoid rather than be vulnerable and honest.

Guilt says I did something wrong. Shame says I am fundamentally wrong and flawed compared to other people. When we feel inferior to others, we may be discouraged from sharing our shortcomings out of fears of how others will perceive us. If a person is not vulnerable with safe people such as mentors, therapists, sponsors, and supportive friends and family members, they may not get the help they need. Distancing oneself from others is a warning sign for relapse.

You are more likely to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol.

Shame is a powerful emotion with defeating and depressing thoughts. Drugs and alcohol are a quick way to silence these thoughts and avoid feeling distress. While this may help in the short term, it can make shame worse in the long term. Until shame is addressed, it will keep coming back. Drinking or using will likely continue shame because we may do things that we regret that do not align with our values, and we aren’t addressing the root of the issue. Shame and addiction can be a vicious cycle that can be hard to break.

When we feel guilt about what we have done, we will want to do things differently. It can encourage us to make healthier choices and avoid hurting ourselves or other people. Shame often goes deeper than guilt. It can be part of a negative schema about the self that has developed over time. Talking to a therapist can be a helpful way to help process negative beliefs about self that lead to mental health and substance use issues.

Making the call to receive help can be a healthy first step in breaking patterns of shame. If you are interested in exploring this more, feel free to contact a therapist at Charmed Counseling at 509-768-6852.

#recoverythursdays

Written by Taylor Hocking, LMFTA, SUDP, Clinical Therapist at Charmed Counseling

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Self-Care for Relapse Prevention

Relapse is often a gradual process that can take weeks or months. When we neglect our basic needs and do not take care of ourselves, we are more likely to become upset and struggle with managing the stressors of everyday life. This puts us at an increased risk for lapsing or relapsing on substances or behaviors that we are striving to abstain from.

One simple tool that can help with relapse prevention is to HALT and check in with yourself. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? If so, it is important to try to take care of these needs. We are more likely to become and stressed when we are not taking care of our physical and mental well-being, and therefore, are more likely to use drugs, alcohol, or other unhealthy behaviors as a way to cope. Here are some practical ways to help you deal with being hungry, angry, lonely and tired.

Hungry

Research shows that individuals in recovery who prioritize their overall physical health including healthy eating habits and nutrition are less likely to relapse. Ways to eat healthy might include eating more whole foods (foods with little processing or additives), eating when hungry, monitoring excessive caffeine and sugar intake, and eating a variety of foods. It is very important to not allow ourselves to have extreme hunger where we are less likely to think clearly. One useful tool is a hunger scale:

During a hunger scale, we want to check in with ourselves and see how hungry we are. Ideally, we want to aim for being in the 3-7 range. When we start to get below a 3, we are more likely to become distressed. If you have a busy schedule with little time to eat, consider packing yourself simple things to eat throughout the day such as a protein or granola bar or a piece of fruit.

Angry

Anger is a normal emotion to have, and can be productive in making healthy changes and advocating for yourself and others who have been wronged. However, having chronic anger and resentments towards others can decrease mental well-being and negatively impact physical health. Research has shown that people who struggle with excessive anger and resentments are at increased risks for heart disease and premature death. There are various ways to help manage anger: acknowledging your feelings including deeper feelings of sadness or hurt, reducing triggers to anger, and utilizing assertive skills (asserting your own needs while considering the needs of others). Psychotherapy can also be very useful in learning tools for anger management as well as exploring influencing factors for chronic anger.

Lonely

Loneliness can have extreme impacts on physical and emotional health. The American Psychological Association has identified that chronic loneliness is more damaging to physical health than smoking fifteen cigarettes per day, having an Alcohol Use Disorder, or obesity. Loneliness can also make depression worse. Reaching out to friends, family, sober supports, and communities can help to manage loneliness. During the pandemic we may need to find creative ways to meet with others. Some self-help groups such as AA or NA have online options if there are not meetings in person, as well as other types of supportive community groups.

Tired
Sleep deprivation can easily impact our well-being. Falling asleep or staying asleep can be challenging for some people. Some ways to help with sleep hygiene are to limit screen time up to an hour before bedtime, avoiding large meals or exercise before going to bed, avoiding caffeine later in the day, comfortable bedding and temperature, and using your bed for sleep and sex only. If you struggle with insomnia or other sleep changes, talking to a medical professional or therapist can help.

If you are interested in learning more about relapse prevention, ways to manage stress and self-care, and/or co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders, feel free to contact Taylor Hocking, LMFTA, SUDP at Charmed Counseling for a consultation.

#recoverythursdays

Written by Taylor Hocking, LMFTA, SUDP, Clinical Therapist at Charmed Counseling

taylor@charmedcounseling.com