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Unmasking Procrastination

Unmasking Procrastination

Procrastination – a familiar foe that we all encounter at some point in our lives. Whether it is putting off work assignments, delaying personal projects, or avoiding necessary tasks, procrastination has a way of sneaking into our lives and hindering our productivity. In this blog post, we will dive into the psychological aspects of procrastination, unraveling its roots, and explore practical solutions to overcome this common challenge.

1. The Procrastination Paradox: Why Do We Do It?
Procrastination often involves a paradox – we delay tasks that are important and meaningful to us. Understanding this paradox requires delving into the psychological mechanisms at play. Fear of failure, perfectionism, and the need for immediate gratification are some common underlying factors. Procrastination becomes a coping mechanism to deal with the anxiety or discomfort associated with a task.

2. The Role of the Instant Gratification Monkey
In his famous TED Talk, Tim Urban humorously introduced the concept of the Instant Gratification; as the force that derails our plans. The monkey craves immediate rewards and often persuades us to choose short-term pleasure over long-term gains. Recognizing the monkey influence is crucial for gaining control over procrastination.

3. The Planning Fallacy: Optimism Gone Astray
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman introduced the concept of the & planning fallacy; where individuals consistently underestimate the time it takes to complete tasks. Procrastinators, in particular, fall victim to this cognitive bias, leading to unrealistic expectations and, consequently, delays in task initiation.

Breaking the Chains: Practical Strategies to Overcome Procrastination

1. Set Clear and Achievable Goals
Ambiguity in goals can be a breeding ground for procrastination. Break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable goals. This not only makes the workload seem less daunting but also provides a clear roadmap for progress. Remembering to use the skill/technique of SMART goals (S-Specific, M-Measurable, A-Achievable, R- Relevant, T-Time bound) so that you are setting yourself up for the most success in managing and achieving those goals.

2. Time Blocking and Pomodoro Technique
Effective time management techniques, such as time blocking and the Pomodoro Technique, can help combat procrastination. Allocate specific time blocks for focused work, and break tasks into short, timed intervals with breaks in between. This method helps maintain concentration and prevents overwhelm.

3. Understand and Challenge Perfectionism
Perfectionism can be a significant driver of procrastination. Acknowledge that perfection is an unattainable standard and embrace a growth mindset. Focus on progress rather than perfection, allowing yourself the freedom to learn and improve along the way.

4. Create a Distraction-Free Environment
Identify and minimize potential distractions in your work environment. Turn off notifications, declutter your workspace, and set boundaries to create a focused atmosphere conducive to productivity. For some folks, that could mean leaving your work or home office, and taking things on the road! Diversity in environment can be helpful to calm and center the ADHD mind as well.

5. Utilize Implementation Intentions
Implementation intentions involve creating specific plans for when and where you will complete a task. By setting clear intentions, you provide your brain with a roadmap, making it more likely to follow through when the designated time arrives.

6. Break the Task into Smaller Steps
Large tasks can be overwhelming, leading to procrastination. Break them into smaller, more manageable steps. Completing each step provides a sense of accomplishment, motivating you to progress further.

Overcoming Psychological Barriers

1. Addressing Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is a powerful procrastination trigger. Shift your perspective on failure, viewing it as a steppingstone to growth. Embrace mistakes as opportunities to gain experience and improve, rather than as reflections of your worth.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset
Cultivate a growth mindset by believing in your ability to develop and improve over time. Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and see setbacks as a natural part of the learning process.

3. Increase Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Procrastination often leads to self-criticism, creating a cycle of negativity. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your efforts, understanding that everyone faces challenges, and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Increasing your self-compassion, can prove to be impactful in other ways than just improving your procrastination, but eliminating certain other triggers for it as well.

In Conclusion: Embrace Progress, Not Perfection Overcoming procrastination is a journey, and it is essential to approach it with patience and self-compassion. By understanding the psychological triggers and implementing practical strategies, you can break free from the chains of procrastination. Remember, the goal is progress, not perfection. Take one step at a time, celebrate small victories,
and watch as your newfound habits transform your approach to tasks and productivity.

The Importance of Work-Life Balance and How to Achieve It

In today’s fast-paced and demanding world, achieving a healthy work-life balance has become increasingly important. The constant pursuit of professional success often comes at the cost of personal well-being and relationships. However, maintaining equilibrium between work and life is crucial for our overall happiness, productivity, and long-term success. In this blog post, we will dive into the significance of work-life balance and provide practical tips on how to achieve it, ensuring a fulfilling and harmonious life.

The Significance of Work-Life Balance:

Work-life balance encompasses the equilibrium between the demands of our professional lives and the quality of our personal lives. It is about allocating time and energy to work, family, relationships, personal interests, and self-care. Striving for work-life balance holds numerous benefits:
Enhanced Well-being: Prioritizing personal time and activities reduces stress levels, improves mental health, and boosts overall well-being.
Increased Productivity: By maintaining a healthy balance, we prevent burnout and enhance focus, creativity, and productivity during working hours.
Stronger Relationships: Devoting time to loved ones and nurturing relationships fosters happiness, connection, and a sense of fulfillment.
Personal Growth: Pursuing personal interests and hobbies outside of work nurtures self-discovery, skill development, and a more well-rounded identity.

Tips to Achieve Work-Life Balance:

Establish Clear Boundaries:
Set clear boundaries between work and personal life. Determine specific working hours and strive to adhere to them. Avoid bringing work-related tasks or stress into your personal time. Communicate your boundaries effectively to colleagues, clients, and supervisors, ensuring they understand your availability and respect your personal time.
Prioritize and Delegate:

Learn to prioritize tasks effectively to manage time efficiently. Identify high-priority assignments and tackle them first, ensuring deadlines are met without overwhelming yourself. Additionally, delegate tasks whenever possible, empowering team members and freeing up time for yourself to focus on essential responsibilities and personal interests.
Master Time Management:

Adopt effective time management techniques to optimize productivity and balance. Utilize tools like calendars, planners, or productivity apps to organize tasks and set realistic goals. Break down larger projects into manageable tasks and allocate dedicated time slots for each. By staying organized, you accomplish more in less time, leaving room for personal activities.
Utilize Technology Mindfully:

While technology enables connectivity and enhances productivity, it can also blur the lines between work and personal life. Set boundaries for technology use, such as designating device-free zones or implementing screen-time limits. Unplugging from work-related emails or messages during personal time allows you to focus on self-care, build stronger relationships, and be present in the moment.
Nurture Self-Care Practices:

Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Prioritize activities that rejuvenate and energize you, such as exercise, hobbies, meditation, or spending time in nature. Engaging in self-care not only reduces stress but also enhances your overall well-being, leading to increased productivity and satisfaction in both professional and personal realms.
Foster Supportive Relationships:
Building and nurturing supportive relationships is vital for work-life balance. Cultivate strong connections with friends, family, and colleagues who understand and value your need for balance. Share your challenges and seek advice from those who have successfully achieved work-life harmony. A strong support network can provide guidance, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Learn to Say No:

Learning to say ‘no’ gracefully is crucial in maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Assess your commitments and obligations realistically and be selective about what you can handle. Setting reasonable limits allows you to avoid burnout, focus on tasks that align with your priorities, and maintain balance in your professional and personal life.
Take Regular Breaks:

Taking regular breaks throughout the workday is vital for maintaining focus and productivity. Stepping away from your desk, even for a short walk or stretching, can help clear your mind and rejuvenate your energy levels. Additionally, plan and enjoy vacations or time off to disconnect from work entirely and recharge. By prioritizing rest and relaxation, you ensure that you are at your best when engaged in both work and personal activities.

Work-life balance is not a luxury; it is an essential aspect of a fulfilling and healthy life. By prioritizing our well-being, nurturing relationships, and managing our time effectively, we can achieve harmony between our professional and personal lives. Working towards the ideal work-life balance will take time, but it will eventually lead you to overall satisfaction not only at home but also at work. Embrace the journey towards work-life balance and experience the rewards it brings to your overall happiness and success. Determine what areas need more attention for improvement and acknowledge what you feel confident about continuing in future practice as you go along this path to a healthy and fulfilled life.

Extrinsic vs Intrinsic Motivation

How many times have you told yourself that “tomorrow will be the day I will start my diet!” or “Monday will be the day I will stop using technology after 9 PM!!”? You are definitely not alone. Many of us set goals for ourselves that are not 100% realistic or S.M.A.R.T (psst! check out my other blog post about S.M.A.R.T. goals!). Yes, these goals are possible but without the right plan of action to achieve them, they tend to not be sustainable. Setting a goal is one thing, but the drive behind completing the goal is another. Most of us run into the same barrier after setting a goal, a lack of motivation to complete it.

What is motivation and how do you know you have it? (*take a moment to consider this!*) Merriam-Webster’s definition of motive states, “something (such as a need or desire) that causes a person to act”. We usually hear the word motive in relation to criminal acts (ex. “Was there any motive behind the criminal’s act”?). With our own goals, decisions, and behaviors, we typically have some motive behind them. Sometimes it may feel as if we are on autopilot and not actively thinking about the behaviors we are engaging in, but behind each action we take is some sort of intention.

Motivation comes in two forms, extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation is when we become motivated due to an outside force (ex. money/rewards/gifts/good grades). Intrinsic motivation is when we become motivated since completion of the task/goal/behavior is rewarding in itself (ex. it’s enjoyable/it’s exciting/it brings peace/internal desire). It might seem that one type of motivation is better than the other, but both are important to consider and each serves its own purpose at different times.

One common situation where both motivations may come into play is the act of having to go to work. What motivates you to go to work? Some people truly find enjoyment in the field of work they are in and are passionate about their day-to-day responsibilities (intrinsic motivation). Other people are motivated by the income they receive for the work they do (extrinsic motivation). Some people experience both natural joy and a good paycheck (lucky!) while others fail to experience either. In situations like this, it is crucial to consider the impact this could have on your mental health if you are engaging in a task/behavior that is not resulting in any fulfillment (extrinsically or intrinsically).

Sometimes being too extrinsically motivated can lead to the overjustification effect. This occurs when the completion of the said task/behavior/action over time is only for the external reward at the end. Ultimately this can cause the person to not have any intrinsic motivation and down the road experience more burnout for the task/behavior they are doing since they do not have the capability to feel any internal appreciation for their ability to complete the task.

If you notice your own struggles with identifying your own intrinsic and extrinsic motivators, talk to your counselor about ways to engage in your normal/everyday tasks through a new lens. Reframing your motivation may take some time, but once you find your perfect balance of being extrinsically versus intrinsically motivated, you may notice your productivity and overall sense of satisfaction increase.

By Tiffany Biggins LMHCA, MSCP

References:

https://www.verywellmind.com/differences-between-extrinsic-and-intrinsic-motivation-2795384

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation#:~:text=Motivation%20is%20the%20desire%20to,mental%20illnesses%20such%20as%20depression.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/motivation#:~:text=Definition%20of%20motivation-,1a%20%3A%20the%20act%20or%20process%20of%20motivating,%E2%80%8Bsh%C9%99n%2D%E2%80%8B%E1%B5%8Al%20%5C%20adjective

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/intrinsic-vs-extrinsic-motivation/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-overjustification-effect-2795386

Five Easy Tips to Increase Motivation

Do you feel like there is just not enough hours in the day to do what you want or even complete the things you need to? Do you wish you just had that extra push to get you through the day? Do not worry you are not the only one, Harvard Business School recently did a study that explained that not only are employees feeling more distracted but also feel less motivated. They also looked at the perspective of 600 CEO’s and noticed that even business owners are preoccupied with keeping moral and motivation up while decreasing stress and potential losses (Groysberg, 2020).

What is Motivation?

Motivation is the driving force that helps us achieve our daily goals and strive to excel in our life goals. Motivation is the “why” behind someone’s thought, feelings and actions. There are two types of motivation extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation is fueled by external rewards and/or punishment. An example of extrinsic motivation would be competing in a sport for trophies or very similarly competing at work for money. Intrinsic motivation or internal motivation would be doing an activity because it is internally rewarding, going back to our previous examples would be to compete in a sport because it is fun or doing a good job at work because you feel a sense of pride with a job well done. For many people either type of motivation can have long lasting effects and can create healthy habits. The only thing is, we must be mindful about how we are going to start these habits. We also must make sure we know how long and how often we want to practice these habits. While also holding ourselves accountable with either following through or not with the habits we deem are important.

Easy Tips to Help Increase Motivation

Journaling– I know we have heard about journaling in vlogs, self-help books and all our counselors alike. The University of St. Augustine (2020) recently wrote about the benefits of journaling; not only did they find that it actually helps with managing anxiety and depression; but they also found that with journaling, individuals had an easier time with gaining a deeper understanding of their own internal conflicts. Journaling can also help with achieving goals; just the process of writing down your goals can motivate you to start making steps toward your goals. Think the process for journaling is too hard or just not your thing? Ask your counselor or reach out to Charmed for some more creative ways to get engaged with journaling.
Creating and Maintaining Relationships-Sometimes motivating ourselves can be difficult, leaning on our support systems can get us out of a rut and propel us in the right direction. Also, having a soundboard or other’s opinions can help with having to make difficult decisions or helping us try new things, which fuels our motivation. Giving a friend a call and laughing with them can be the best medicine. Not sure how to feel supported or feeling a little bit lonely, some great places to visit would be Facebook groups, meetups, or joining a local support group.
Exercise– Moving our bodies and getting the blood flowing can decrease stress and increase energy levels and our mood. The runner’s high is absolutely no lie and can actually keep us motivated on our work and relationship goals. A healthy body contributes to a healthy mind. Some tricks to be more active can be taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Taking a quick walk on your lunch break. Parking a little further than usual. Cleaning up your space. Visit this link for an activity calendar: Track Your Activities (nih.gov) .
Meditation-I know this is another one that some people have a hard time with, but the research suggests that mediation can reduce stress, improve memory, lower blood pressure, enhance willpower and increase attention. Meditation is not supposed to be creating the perfect atmosphere or to have a yoga-aesthetic experience, mediation is arriving in our present situation as it is. (not to say you can’t have the prefect yoga experience while meditating). Here are a few examples: visualizing, chanting mantras or affirmations, counting out each breath, laying down, and focusing on physical sensations.
Practicing self-care– Reminding yourself that you are also important and do need attention and care is the best thing. Practicing self-care can give you that extra motivation boast you need either throughout the day or week. Check out our other blogs and the importance of self-care to learn more about the topic here: The Truths About Self-Care – Charmed Counseling.

Going Forward

Trying to keep ourselves motivated is no simple task, especially amid a pandemic and all the other external stressors going on in the world. Feeling drained or tired can be very normal and resting can be the best thing you can do. If you feel you are struggling or just need some new tools; give us a call at 509-768-6852 or email us at info@charmedcounseling.com.

References

10 ways journaling benefits students. University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences. (2021, January 5). Retrieved February 21, 2022, from https://www.usa.edu/blog/ways-journaling-benefits-students/

Goldin, P. (2021, January 5). https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/headlines/10-health-benefits-of-meditation/2019/06. University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences. Retrieved February 21, 2022, from https://www.usa.edu/blog/ways-journaling-benefits-students/

Groysberg, B. (2020, October 8). Keep your weary workers engaged and motivated. HBS Working Knowledge. Retrieved February 21, 2022, from https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/keep-covid-weary-employees-engaged-and-motivated

Development of Psychopathology as a Result of Divorce in Children and Adolescents

I wanted to share excerpts from an APA scholarly research paper I wrote in 2020 that explored the effects of divorce on children and adolescents specifically in the context of developing short-term and long-term psychopathology. At first my topic was solely about the development of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Conduct Disorder following a divorce, but after doing research I realized that those two disorders are only a small piece of possible psychopathology that needs to be explored more in detail. Each family’s story is different, and to just assume that divorce results in children not listening and acting out is not an appropriate conclusion. I included the development of psychopathology in the paper to emphasize the big impact divorce has, but also the importance of considering how divorce can serve as a protective factor in improving a child and family’s coping and communication skills over time. My research was geared towards trying to find articles that allowed me to learn about divorce through multiple lenses. I looked at articles that focused on communication styles, multiple generations being affected by the divorce, boundaries being broken during grieving/coping, and other aspects of the aftermath of divorce and how all of those topics can play a role in negatively affecting children and their development, specifically in terms of psychopathology.

Understanding the impact, a divorce can have on children and adolescents is not a one size fits all approach. Each family’s situation is different and needs to be treated uniquely to properly recognize the best way to help the family get through this tough time. Of equal importance is the action of assisting the family on how to grow from the divorce by leaning on one another for support rather than each member trying to cope individually. The effects of divorce can be discussed in any therapy setting (ex. family, group, individual, etc.) because each person in the family will be impacted differently. The family may not be made up of a traditional structure of two parents and biological children. With additional family members, other than just mom, dad, and children, living under the same roof as well as being raised in a non-traditional family structure (ex. same-sex parents, adopted children, foster families, etc.), there are additional factors to consider with divorce that could also play a role in possible development of psychopathology.

Here are some highlights from my research:

Being able to explore a longer familial line of psychopathology following a divorce, rather than just looking at the parents and children, assists the therapist/counselor in gaining a better understanding of the unique impact of the divorce on the family and the predisposition for psychopathology in the children from learning more about the generations before the parents.
It’s important to consider the journey of the parents finding a new romantic partner. The research showed that adolescents growing up in an environment that is labeled “not stable”, characterized by their mother actively seeking new partnerships/romances, reported lower levels of life satisfaction and higher chances of expressing depressive symptomatology. When the father is actively settled in a new stable relationship following the divorce, adolescents also report lower levels of life satisfaction and higher chances of developing depression. So not only is the transition of a child’s parents moving on stressful, but the experience of dating for mom versus dad has an effect as well.
“Suffering”, as classified by symptomatology that could meet for a diagnosis, is not just an immediate reaction following the divorce. The effects can span months, or even years later. At some point, the parents will want to move on to explore other romantic relationships.
Observing the family’s chosen coping mechanisms is crucial in understanding the development of possible psychopathology in children and adolescents. Sometimes the newly single divorced parent may turn to their children as a form of comfort and as a chance to express their negative feelings about the other parent. Not only is that child experiencing their own reactions to their parent’s separation (ex. grief, loss, anger, guilt, etc.), but they also have to navigate serving as a genuine listener to the parent expressing negative thoughts and beliefs about the other parent. These conversations could feel cathartic to the parent but could lead to short-term and long-term distress for the child. Even if the child is actively trying to stay strong for the parent, they could be experiencing physiological distress that could manifest into psychopathology later on in life without proper debriefing with their parents who are maintaining their appropriate role.
Children are actively seeking more attention post-divorce from their parents to maintain feelings of love and affection. The amount and quality of attention provided to the child following the divorce are important in understanding the child’s behaviors. The want and need for attention from their parents following the traumatic event are important for the children or adolescents to feel as fulfilled as possible, even though their immediate social circle is no longer intact.
The timing of the divorce is influential, especially when the children are adolescents and discovering their own romantic relationships. Outside of the divorce, other transitions may occur within a family unit (ex. a new sibling being born, a grandparent passing away, a family move to a new state, etc.) that requires everyone adjusting. Depending on when the change occurs plays a substantial role when considering the impact on the child. Ensuring appropriate debriefing within families following these significant dates can help memories not seem as painful, but rather joyful when learning to shift focus on the positive features rather than the negative ones.

One article explained the process of observing and testing the physiological stress response of children in reaction to their parent’s communication style based on their marital status. This article brought families together (single, divorced, married) and had them discuss a “stressful” topic/problem solving sort of conversation, and the children had to rate their own perception of their parent’s communication competence, social support, and how they view conversations with their parents. The results showed if children perceived their parent’s communication style as “skilled, they were able to recover physiologically from a stressful interaction regardless of their parent’s marital status, but if they perceived their parent’s communication style as “less skilled” they showed greater reactions and a longer time recovering following a stressful interaction which was shown to be influenced by the parents being divorced.
Finally, I found an article that discussed how parents need to be educated, specifically in a therapy setting. Taking the time to provide psychoeducation to parents in a family therapy setting could enlighten them to the short-term and long-term effects a divorce can have on them and their child. It’s crucial for the parents to maintain their role as a parental figure and keep that boundary present even though they feel they need to vent to the closest figure to them, which could be their children. Choosing not to maintain this boundary and parental role could lead to development of an unhealthy ego for the child. The newly “single parent” using their child as a buffer to vent ultimately could be detrimental to their child’s mental health.

If you have any questions about the specific references/sources used in my 2020 APA paper or would like to see a full copy of the research paper, please contact me at tiffany@charmedcounseling.com.

Let the Shoes drop as they May!

Do you always feel like the other shoe is going to drop?

Guess what…. Life yawl! We will always have ups, downs, and shoes dropping. Look at 2020, anything can happen! Shoes could literally fall from the sky and we would find that normal at this point.

For real though! Do you always feel like the other shoe is going to drop? Like, when something “good” is happening, things are feeling “normal”, or even “joyful” we get this gnawing feeling like something bad has to happen. Why? Because it always does… That’s your brain protecting you. Your thoughts are unconsciously saying “don’t feel too good because LIFE will drop you!” So that it keeps you ‘neutral’.

Brene Brown speaks to this. She has researched and sussed out why we feel sheer anxiety after feeling joyful. The vulnerability. Yes, we feel vulnerable because joy is fragile and what happens if we lose it? That “shoe dropping” is you losing your joy. Thus the anxiety you feel is a self-preservation skill, so that when the joy leaves you; you’re expecting it.

So, how to do “handle” it?

Here’s where you have options.

According to Brene, people who “tolerate” joy better (reduced intensity of joy and misery) are people who have a gratitude practice. This would look like making a gratitude list each day, talking to a caring friend/partner/family member about moments you’re grateful, or thankful for. Institute this with your coworkers or team, share-out your compliments or gratitudes at regular meetings. The goal? Revel in your joys consistently, and regularly. You slow down and acknowledge and validate yourself, and those around you. This helps you hold the joy longer and recognize its significance. When something is heavier, annoying, miserable, does happen (because, again, that’s life) then you’ll be able to move through it. Because you will be carrying the gratitudes in your mind. It helps to lessen the intensity of the “bad” because you’ve reveled in that “good” and it’s sticking with you.

If you’re not a Brene lover and you want concrete ways to rewire your thoughts read on.

It’s important to remember and remind ourselves of our locus of control. What are the things we can control and prepare for? When our anxiety gets the best of us and we get stuck in anticipatory exhaustion of what bad thing will happen next. When this happens we lose out on the now, we lose our control.

Ways we can work through this worry:
Rewiring our brain to think multidimensionally about it. If you find you can’t stop having difficult thoughts, ok, just follow it up with something else! It’s not always ridding yourself of the anxiety, sometimes it’s working with it, recognizing it non-judgmentally.

Follow it up with
Sometimes we think of optimists and we shutter, “that always-sunny silver-lining attitude can be annoying.”. That’s not what we are going for here. It’s more of a neutral, balancing act between seeing something anxiety-inducing and balancing it with grounding yourself and being present in the moment.

You might think: “things are going so well, this can’t last” follow it up with “and that’s ok, life keeps moving forward. This is good today.”

You might think: “our relationship is so good now but what happens when… what if they find out I… when will they leave me, it always happens” follow it up with “if it ends, it ends, I’ll navigate it because I have before and also, it might keep going. They might love that I… when they leave they might find they can’t live without me. I’m happy that today they chose me.”

The Maybe Game
Another way to help your brain think differently about something: add “maybe” in front of a thought or a sentence to help shift your perspective.

You might think “I’m financially successful now but what if I lose my job” think about this and use the word ‘maybe’ in front of each thought “maybe, I won’t lose it but they’ll cut back hours, how will that feel?; maybe, I’m just feeling stressed about this project and the feeling will pass; maybe I should reach out to my coworkers to feel more connected”

You might think: “I’m playing so well right now but what if I get hurt, what if my good streak ends!” … “maybe I keep practicing consistently to keep my muscles loose and not overwork myself; maybe I check in with my team and see how they are feeling about our team work; maybe I try to pass more to keep my connections strong”

Then What
Like the Maybe Game, “then what” is a set of words to add to your thoughts to help you shift your perspective.

You might think: “something bad is about to happen” so add “then what” to talk yourself how you’ll get through it. “Something bad is about to happen. Then what? I’ll figure it out as I go.”

You might think: “the cancer went into remission but what if it comes back? Then what? Then you’ll go to the doctor and talk about it.

There are 3 outside-of-gratitude ways to help rewire your brain; however, I would give the gratitude list a chance. It’s a simple way to extend your good feelings.

Ultimately, strategies are great and also, sometimes we just need to ‘be.’ Sometimes your anxiety of the shoe dropping is your intuition that you might be in danger of some kind. Intuition is an important aspect of being human: we need it, it serves us well, but we need to recognize when it is intuition or when it is anxiety getting in the way of our happiness. One way to determine this is allowing ourselves to sit with those uncomfortable feelings for a bit and just notice them non-judgmentally.

You also don’t need to go at this alone, reach out to a friend, family member, someone you trust. If you want an outside perspective or someone with specialized training please reach out for the support of a mental health therapist, we are here for you!